Eiszeit ist Auszeit
Was soll denn das nun, klagt unsere Welt,
mir wird so warm und immer wärmer,
ich schwitze schon und krieg gleich Fieber.
Ist das ein Virus, der mich befällt?
Das sind die Menschen, ach du Schande.
Sind die denn noch ganz gescheit?
Greifen ihren eigenen Wirt an,
wohl zum Denken nicht recht im Stande.
Die Menschheit ist schon eine Plage,
sie hat sich viel zu schnell vermehrt.
Ihr wird es an den Kragen gehen,
dauert ja nur noch ein paar Tage...
Ich frier mich ein und befreie mich
von dem ganzen Schmutz und Schund
und fange dann von vorne an,
auf Menschen doch verzichte ich.
There are people who enjoy reading
and many who like watching TV
when time comes and they get truly bored
they might acquire an urge for breeding
Probably not a lot wrong with that
unless they don't know what they're doing
having children just because they can
they'd do much better to get a cat
I like children, I really do
except those who think they own the world
and act as if there were no others
all because their parents had no clue
Not All There
Nobody thought it possible
In a world now more aware
It needed to be shown to us
Wladimir Putin ain't all there
The matter is so serious
I need to say things as they are
Don't care for it to rhyme or not
Important is it comes out clear
You are a little so and so
Mean, nasty, wicked and most vile
Your mother can't be proud of you
She might turn in her grave and cry
There is nobody who likes you
Just go away and eat some worms
The big fat and juicier ones
And feel how they wiggle and squirm!
The Bird Feeder
Blue tits, sparrows and some rather pretty birds indeed
Gathering around their special wooden box of feed
Respectfully waiting for their turns to pick a seed
Then they fly away and I'm thrilled about my good deed
For I'm the supplier - in their eyes the Mighty Lord
I know a few things but mainly where the food is stored
Feeling a little superior is my reward
Though most times they believe I deserve to be ignored
Fest der Liebe
Wer freut sich nicht gern auf Weihnachten,
denn es ist das Fest der Liebe.
Anders kann man es auch betrachten,
wenn geschenkt gibts erst mal Hiebe.
So ist die Freude leicht gedämpft,
die Bescherung muss noch warten,
bis die Tränen sind bekämpft,
dann kann man endlich starten.
Gedichte werden vorgetragen,
'O du Fröhliche' gesungen,
keiner will die Stimmung hinterfragen,
so ist das Fest dann noch gelungen.
Ah! Soon it's Christmas again.
I can't wait till it's over.
If only I could hang ten,
We'd all be wrapped in clover.
Don't know what I need
Till I see it on the net
The pictures look great
Reviews say it's worth having
Close the lid and go to bed
The Good Look
I often look weird in photos, maybe because I'm vain
When I'm certain I'm smiling, I appear to be in pain
I could practice my friendly expression in the mirror
But then I'd have a stiff face and probably look insane
1 2 3
I went to bed and woke up at 1:23
And when again at 4:56 it looked like a scheme
Then again at 7:89 but that must have been a dream
Driven by Passion
The show is over, nothing was sold
All in vain, what a pain
The saddest story all told.
What have I learned?
Future looks bleak but I'm unique
Why should I be concerned?
I paint to follow my passion
The real McCoy full of joy
Mastering life after a fashion.
I ordered a wheelchair for my mother
The rest of the family was filled with horror
As it might make her feel sicker and look much older
She's weak, no surprise at ninety-four
She can walk maybe fifty yards but no more
She was a ballerina and raised kids no less than four
Cancelled the order but it was too late
When it arrived I rolled her through the gate
Really enjoyed ourselves, luckily she's of little weight
Arriving at the park, she was delighted
Seeing the flowers the ducks, she got excited
She held my hand and we were pleased to be united.
What's the matter with me lately?
I've a feeling I'm no good no more
Should I have a system check
Possibly get the upgrade three point four?
Problem is my hardware is outdated
Not sure what support I can expect
The new software won't install
We're incompatible I suspect.
Time comes and you begin to think
This has truly lost its fun
Now I must watch you from the corner here
How you carry on with a new honey bun.
My Happy Place
Whenever I feel miserable
No matter where or how or why
I look for my happy place
And wave the world goodbye
I plan before I'm losing it
To find this place and rest instead
It's always there and quite a blessing
This happy space is in my head
But letting go of suffering
Is mostly easier said than done
Then thinking about my happy place
Seems the hardest thing under the sun
Changing my mood from dark to sunny
I would learn it perhaps if I could
Though I'd prefer not to do the work
And stay in my happy place for good
There is a house in Newport Green
They call it the sturdy one
It withstood all kinds of stormy weather
Ever since time had begun
If you're wondering why it's still there
Even though it moans and groans
Never mind smart wood construction
It lasted thanks to good bones
She saw a dentist who was a sadist thru and thru.
Looks bad, he said, shall we see what I can do?
With a tremble in her voice she asked, will it hurt?
Maybe so, he grinned, but only if I wannit to.
I wonder what it is that gets me up in the morning
Thoughts enter my head of this and of that
Suddenly I'm standing - there was no sign of warning
And my mind knows nothing or where it's at.
Painting abstract and expressive
often on formats quite impressive
when my use of red is too excessive
I get agitated and feel a bit aggressive
might as well do my taxes, so depressive
then I start tidying or other things obsessive
eventually a cup of tea can feel decompressive
From soon all beady my dove and romance
plop buys me a radius of monthly advance
and gives abstract expressionism a chance
we tremble to book so softly their witness
the tiny push bras like nobody's business
collarbone funnybone and studio fitness
how can a lag dinge for a slow digestion
just dreaming low their next suggestion
to be or not so beat, that is the question
walkabout it doesn't make much sense
my verbal byronea about to commence
as two bold eggs sit on a cake and fence
three olding hens sit on the fent and knit
five juvenile retenders rolling out their kit
artly and hostanously thart spliffing in a lit
zuckering freudily Alsberta around the bend
onder mist blontentious wick willet harksend
and befending our liblyhord to the bittery end
such and such
what makes me love you so much
what makes me love you at all
you are my such and such
I'm having such a ball
I looked out the window, goodness me
torrential rainfall in Germany
on the TV a reporter said
people are missing, many are dead
aerial views of the devastation
leave no room for the imagination
they show the extend of the flood
which left the area covered in mud
horrendous stories and detailed accounts
explain what happened and no one doubts
this is a direct result of the climate change
experts say, it's neither surprising nor very strange
Love can strike at any time.
I'm afraid it might.
What do I do if I'm already in love?
It must be quite a plight.
Pull yourself together
and think of what you've got.
Lightning never strikes twice, my man,
or have you lost the plot?
When we see what some people are dishing out,
we know what Bertrand Russell was talking about:
"The stupid are cocksure, the intelligent full of doubt."
When you meet someone who thinks he's clever,
but seems much too confident in his endeavour,
and talks to you non stop and forever and ever.
When he acts like a prophet defying convention,
never admitting a lack of comprehension,
promptly has a cure for everything you mention.
When he hands out his advice on a silver platter
convincing you that his opinions matter,
you can be certain, he's as mad as a hatter.
Das Leben ist schön, aber auch schwer,
für manche zu kurz, für andere nicht fair.
Wenn es anders kommt als man denkt,
da ist der eine schon mal gekränkt.
Der andre sieht es mit Begeisterung,
so hat das Leben für ihn noch Schwung.
Aber wenn ein Virus die ganze Welt befällt
und alles zerschellt - das geht ins Geld.
Dann ist auch unser Wohlstand schon bedroht,
und die Lebensqualität gerät in Not.
Regierungen versuchen uns zu schützen,
auch mit Finanzspritzen zu unterstützen,
aber die Spritzen in den Oberarm
sehen Leugner mit größtem Alarm.
Nun dachte man, die Welt hat sich vereint
und kämpft gegen den gemeinsamen Feind,
doch gibt es Leute mit denen kann man nicht reden,
sie können alles stets anders belegen.
Sie meinen, auf die da oben kann man nicht zählen,
deren Plan sei, ihnen die Freiheiten zu stehlen.
Dieses Misstrauen könnte uns leicht zerspalten,
dann wäre ein Bürgerkrieg kaum aufzuhalten.
Wie könnten Leugner ihre Angst verlieren,
damit sie endlich neues Vertrauen riskieren?
Wir sollten gute Beispiele setzen,
uns kümmern um den Ersten und den Letzten.
So entsteht ein guter Gemeinschaftssinn
für alle Ausgegrenzten ein Gewinn.
Ein respektvoller Umgang miteinander, der oft fehlt,
ist was zählt, so sehr zählt, zählt und zählt und zählt.
Dug up an earthworm
the longest I've ever seen
while paving a garden path
to make my home look clean.
Thought it wouldn't suit the worm
to be trapped under so much rock,
so I tossed him over to my neighbour
who has lots of lawn around his block.
Hoped the worm would appreciate
that my strategy has saved his day,
when a crow came swooping down,
picked him up and flew away.
I know someone
I know someone who thinks he's enlightened,
while other people are still quite frightened.
He knows for sure that Corona is a lie,
just as much as pigs can't fly.
No point discussing things with him,
for he considers everything I say as dim.
Don't watch the news, he says, it's all fake,
the truth is, that your freedom is at stake.
Certain media channels tell you for a fact
that the richest people have formed a pact.
With subtle methods they keep you at bay,
and aim to shape you like a piece of clay.
Think about the real reason for vaccination,
it's enough to give you fear and trepidation.
Aren't you a little grim and negative, I say,
isn't it even paranoid to think that way?
He smugly looks at me 'cos he thinks he's right,
and pities me as I won't put up a fight.
I suppose belief is bliss no matter how misguided
or how badly informed one views things lopsided.
Perhaps he's survived by learning how to swim,
but where would we be, if we all thought like him.
I know where you live
"I know where you live", he said,
"so it's best that you'll behave.
Don't get me angry or else,
I'll make you dig your own grave."
"Why are you like that", I said.
"I don't know what wrong I've done."
"You know what it's about", he yelled,
"you've been unfair to my son."
"But Brian is not the talent as you think,
he's insubordinate and mostly rude,
he will probably fail the term,
if he continues in this attitude."
"But isn't it your responsibility
to turn him into a decent being?"
"Education begins at home, you know,
although your kin might be disagreeing."
I had an electrician come last week
to fit a light above the back door.
when I got the bill today
my jaw dropped well-nigh to the floor.
I rang up his boss to clarify
why on earth the huge amount?
He promptly explained to me
what I must take into account:
There're expenses to consider
not to mention social security and health
operational overheads and holidays
last not least a plan of accumulating wealth.
It's a free world and up to you, he said
when in need of a professional again,
try find someone cheaper or else
risk your life DIY-ing it. Amen.
Can't decide what to play with today.
There are my colouring books and pencils.
I could also find my drawing pad
and use a ruler and some stencils.
I have my Legos and my cars,
and lots of other shiny toys,
but my mum sends me out
to join the other little boys.
It's a beautiful day, she says,
you should be in fresh air,
yet too young for school you are
no need to worry or even care.
I meet Timmy, my friend down the lane.
He shows me his bicycle with considerable pride.
It's new, he says, with bell, brakes and all.
I ask him if I could learn to ride.
Of course, he says, hop on and I'll push.
I follow his instructions - tightly grip the handlebar
and speed away without a plan of further action,
when along comes roaring an enormous motorcar.
Please make it stop, I scream. But Timmy is not there.
So just before the tragic but inevitable demise,
a miracle occurs, I wake up in bed safely,
all grown up and full of surprise.
In the night I wake up 'cos
the moon's shining on my face
I see it with closed eyes
as it glides along with grace.
I move my head to dodge the glare
and try once more to fall asleep
but now I toss and turn
counting far too many sheep.
At last I drift off into slumberland
the big yellow globe has passed
over to the other window
through which it hits me in full blast.
Now I'm beside myself with rage
even feel the urge to curse
then finally it comforts me
this moon has no reverse.
Snow in Spring
It is so bright outside,
I have to squint my eyes.
Has it snowed again?
What a great surprise.
'Cos Winter has long gone.
Yesterday there were blossoms
colouring the landscape white.
Temperature must have dropped
quite drastic in the night.
April's weird and getting weirder.
Changed my plans for today
and bear it with a grin,
just like the bumblebee
I've decided to stay in.
Brakes are for Losers
My indicator light's stopped working
near side at the rear.
I do right turns only
guessing my way, oh dear.
I'll spiral towards my destination
that's the plan, you see.
But I end up where I've started.
How stupid can one be?
Put a new bulb in the other day,
now the brake light's broke.
Is this for real,
or is this a joke?
So I think, brakes are for losers.
Slowing down or circling like a goof,
I'd get there so much faster
if I fixed a blue light to the roof.
May, May, May
may we have some nicer weather please?
At least some sunnier days than these!
It's been so cold and unbelievably wet,
it's horrid enough to get upset.
It's a bit like April but in reverse,
instead of better it's getting worse.
Can't make any plans to go outside
for a short walk or bicycle ride.
Whenever I get ready to leave the house,
heaven looks like I'm in for a douse.
Sometimes I go out in spite
and realize I'm not watertight.
Then I get drenched to the bone,
it even destroys my mobile phone.
Worse yet after it's been warm,
the sky rips open a nasty thunderstorm.
That's the part when danger lurks
with thunder lightning and the works.
Because holding up an umbrella
can sometimes torch a poor fella.
But wait, before I get into hail,
earthly tempests like heavy gale,
tornados, hurricanes and the likes.
It's definitely not worth it, yikes!
Instead of giving myself a permanent frown,
I put the kettle on and try piping down.